So I was going to do my usual creative thinking for this prompt, but after what happened today I needed to write this.
Today we got back our midterms for our Applied Orthopedics class. I was nervous because I didn't feel prepared and the test left me wanting to cry. I was given a small glimmer of hope when I saw that the average was a 93, but that was crushed when I got my test back. I was a full 20 points below the average, and in my program, that constitutes a failing grade. As someone who isn't used to seeing that score, it was pretty hard, especially considering the average. Actually it was hard purely because of the average if the rest of the class hadn't done well it wouldn't have sucked so much. I felt like an absolute moron. What the hell was I doing there? I wanted to go into Orthopedics in the field. How was a supposed to do that when I couldn't even pass the damn midterm? And the worst part? The section I did the worst on was clinical application. So, as is my normal reaction to things like this, the tears came. And I couldn't stop them. I got sympathy and comfort from my classmates, and assurance that this wasn't going to cause me to fail the class, but at that moment I still felt stupid.
At this point, I have no idea what my grade is. I can't see it. And I won't be able to see it until they're posted at the end of the semester. All I have are percentages. My best friend did the math and as it turns out I can still pass the class with an A even if I do terrible on the midterm and final because of our other assignments. That being said, this would require me to get perfect scores on the other assignments, and I can already say that it won't happen. I'm good but not that good. I'll get As though, that much I know. Anyways, at some point my boyfriend came into the classroom during lunch and coaxed me into leaving and going on a walk with him (he's in the same graduate program I'm in but a year ahead). We talked it out and here comes the inspiration.
This entire semester, my focus has been on Neuroanatomy. I was told by pretty much EVERYONE that Neuro was the class to watch out for. So that's what I've been doing. And it's paid off. The "legendary" test our instructor boasted about was the one I've done the best on so far. But I was so focused on that class that I didn't really realize that my real battle would be with Applied Orthopedics. Plus I've had this instructor before and she's always talked up her hard midterms and finals when they've not been that bad. I studied, but we already have as many power point presentations as we had the entire semester last fall. (We had 16 last semester, and already have 15 halfway through this one!) But I'm licking my wounds, getting the five stages of grief out of the way. My boyfriend says he'll help me from now on and I'm officially going to start doing the reading (I'm really going to get the blame for not doing it, but honestly, the amount of reading assigned in each class is BEYOND ridiculous. Plus it's supplemental if you need clarification on class material, and I managed 4 As and 1 B+ with minimal reading last semester).
Graduate school is tough, and this semester I've definitely been feeling off, mostly because our class dynamic has changed and I'm realizing the people that I liked before are actually kind of awful and annoying and seriously you need to chill out! But if this is what I need to get back on the horse and kick ass, then so be it.
Anyways, I needed to write that for this week's prompt, and it feels good to get it all out.
Also as a post script, this image is proof that I have the best friends. Basically one of my closest friends bet me a dollar that I would do well on the midterm. He lost. But he still found a way to make me smile. He's the best.
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